So I finally get around to Tone’s tome, all seven hundred pages of it that’s turning out to be the fastest selling autobiography of all time received, as far as I can gather, with disbelief and hoots of derision, and in which I for one have no interest and therefore have no intention of joining the millions who are buying it. I might be doing the Blairs an injustice having never met them but I have never taken to either of them, in fact I find them actually distasteful, and if I were to say what I really think it would more than likely be libellous. Let me just say that if I was one of their kids I would be embarrassed out of my mind to have them as parents.
At his signing in Dublin our ex-prime minister was pelted with eggs, shoes, and bottles so his London signings have been cancelled as it is highly probable the same thing would happen again. Instead he is sending the bookshop a pile of signed copies. Signings are to promote a book anyway and advance its sales and in this case there would appear to be absolutely no need.
So what is it about his writing that has been met with so much disbelief? Mac in the Mail, a brilliant cartoonist who can always bring a smile to my face if not happy laughter, more or less sums it up with his latest – The Blairs are in bed fast asleep and Tone with a big smile on his face is dreaming. He dreams of a giant billboard in which he is pictured standing in a long robe and sandals, a toothy grin on his face, clutching his book and with a halo around his head. The writing is as follows – Steven Spielberg presents:- A story of lust, greed, power and untold wealth! ‘A JOURNEY’ starring TONY BLAIR. Written and co-directed by ‘TONY BLAIR’ With Angelina Jolie as Cherie, Mike Tyson as Gordon Brown, Julian Clary as Peter Mandelson, and a cast of thousands of adoring fans.
A smaller cartoon by Pugh in the same paper shows a copy of the book in a bookshop window with ‘free travel sick pills’ advertised.
From the extracts I have read, Blair has gone way over the top. Talk about melodrama! It was his decision to take the UK into Iraq which has caused the greatest anger and over the Iraq war he has been accused of shedding crocodile tears. “The anguish remains. The principal part of that is not selfish. Some of it is to be sure. Do they really suppose I don’t care, don’t feel, don’t regret with every fibre of my being the loss of those who died?” You could almost set it to music – grand opera yet. Note that wonderful cliché “with every fibre of my being.” He evidently has to go on at some length with this which is hardly surprising, in fact it is quoted at length in the paper and there is a double page spread inside the paper dealing not only with Iraq but moving on to his relationship with Gordon Brown and various other subjects. One article is headed “He still can’t see the scale of his crimes.” Wow! That’s being a bit harsh isn’t it? Or is it? I don’t know about sickness pills but maybe the sick bag would be more appropriate and in fact Littlejohn in his column says just that. Quote – “I like to have time and comfort in the loo.” What a riveting piece of information and “I needed that love Cherie gave me. I devoured it to give me strength. I was an animal following my instinct” Oh boy!
For the American edition he has evidently written a special preface which can only be described as brown nosing to the ultimate degree. In it evidently he makes out that Clinton and Bush are two of the greatest men who ever lived.
Oh dear! Pass the sick bag indeed.