Hey hey hey! I am beginning to think my Blogs must be terribly boring as I get so few comments on anything I write. Or do I just have very few readers? Would that be the case I wonder? I know I overdo the religious bit and the sex bit but the two are sometimes so intertwined it’s almost impossible to separate them. When you think of the sexual shenanigans human beings get up to virtually everything in the eyes of the religious is a sin.

“Impregnation is the only mission of intercourse, I might say the holy mission of intercourse and there is only one proper position – the eye to eye position.” So said someone by the name of William M. Dwyer. I’ve no idea who Willy Dwyer was but as he uses the initial of his middle name I presume he was an American. Americans seem to go in for that. So there you are, everything but eye to eye intercourse solely for procreation is a wicked wicked sin. I shouldn’t think the Karma Sutra would have gone down too well in Willy’s neck of the woods and the sight of that famous Khajuraho temples of India covered in carvings of a - hush let it not be said aloud - sexual nature would have had him fainting away on the spot. And what on earth would he have made of the Japanese Penis Festival, The Kanamara Matsuri, an annual Shinto fertility festival involving every member of the family during which giant penises are paraded and marvelled at, wooden carved ones can be played with and, if hungry, penis shaped lollypops or vulva shaped candy can be licked and sucked with relish? Willy would have had nightmares for the rest of his days.

But phallic worship isn’t the sole province of the Japanese. A Penis Parade called a phallika in ancient Greece was a common feature of Dionysian celebrations and a Greek town even today holds a phallic festival on the first day of lent.

Closer to home what about red light districts? What about the Reeperbahn which is not at all what I expected when I visited it? I had always imagined it to be a sort of dark dingy alley, suitable for its reputation as a centre of vice after all, but it is in fact a broad quite pleasant avenue and the vice isn’t (or wasn’t) as blatant as I have seen elsewhere.?

As for creatures like the Bonobo monkey that are at it twenty-four hours a day either by themselves (masturbation is not confined to human beings) or with any member of the troop that happens to be to hand as it were, well they’re animals and just don’t bear thinking about. But are we not animals? I know many people don’t like to think about it but animal is what we are and, let’s face it, eye to eye in the missionary position will sooner rather than later get very boring.

And still talking of animals, we have a spayed bitch who tries to fuck a male cat that has no balls. How’s that for perversion? How’s that for frustration? But as Goethe once said, “How can you call anything in nature, unnatural?”