Pat Robertson

American telly evangelist Pat Robertson, known for his outlandish religious ideas, says he wishes Facebook had a vomit button he could press every time he sees two men kissing. Right Mister Robertson, good Christian that you are, here is a question for you. If you were at the garden of Gethsemane the night before Jesus was arrested and saw him betrayed by Judas’s kiss, would you have vomited (a) because of the betrayal or would you have vomited (b) because you saw two men kissing? Disgusting, disgusting. How disgusting! Yuk!  If you deliberately look out for men kissing so that you could wish there was a vomit button, stop looking.

Pat Robertson I would call you a four letter word but there are so many of your kind in the world what would be the point? Calling you names is not going to stop you spreading your poison. Or should that be spewing out your poison? And should I vomit with disgust every time you make such absurd statements? No, I can only shake my head in disbelief at your stupidity, your religious blinkers, and your weird, wonderful, hateful beliefs that should have been discarded years ago and the fact that you and the bigoted ignoramuses like yourself are unfortunately legion.

In some societies and at various periods of time it has been perfectly natural for men to kiss; not in Wasp Land of course. It is a sign of affection and does not necessarily mean the men are gay or that the kiss will lead to anything more. Read ‘Anna Karenina’ where you will find Vronski, military man and Anna’s lover, saying ‘I waited for my General’s kiss.’ (I might have misquoted slightly but that’s the general gist of it, tee-hee. General? General? Oh, forget it!) In Wasp Land of course buddies can put their arms around each other and give a hug, best done in a group to avoid suspicion. That is called male bonding but kissing? Yuk. Heavens to Betsy whatever next?

In 2004 there was a delightful film made called ‘Connie and Carla’. Copyright notwithstanding I quote from Wikipedia; easier than me making it up. ‘Nia Vardalos and Toni Collette play the titular characters, whose lifelong friendship and co-obsession with musical theater has brought nothing but career dead ends. Despite this they continue their optimism, hosting a variety act at an airport lounge. After accidentally witnessing a mafia hit in Chicago, they go on the run, landing in Los Angeles. Initially working at a beauty salon, they wind up posing as drag queens and auditioning to host a drag revue at a gay club.

Because they sing their own songs instead of miming (a rarity for drag queens), they are hired, and their variety show (first entitled What a Drag (Pun Intended!) then called Connie and Carla and the Belles of the Ball after they add a few friends to the act) becomes a hit. Things are going smoothly but the two make a pact not to let men interfere with their life. This causes conflict when Connie falls for Jeff (David Duchovny), the straight brother of Robert (Stephen Spinella), one of their drag queen friends. As the show gets bigger, the two convince the club owner to convert it into a full dinner theater, and eventually their popularity threatens to expose them.

On the official opening night of the dinner theater, the mob killers catch up with them, but with the help of their drag queen friends, and to great applause from the audience (who think it is part of their act), Connie and Carla take them down. They ultimately confess their real identities to the audience and are eventually accepted for who they are. Connie reveals herself to Jeff, who arrives after the chaos. He accepts her and becomes her boyfriend.’

Now the point I want to make is this: while Connie is still pretending to be a man in drag she suddenly kisses Jeff who backs off in horror and WIPES HIS MOUTH with the back of his hand, a gesture of disgust as though it had been contaminated by contact with a man’s lips. When she reveals herself as herself and they kiss there is no backing off and wiping the kiss away but it is with the very same lips as the first kiss. So what was the difference? Psychological? Natural reaction? Or learned behavior?

What is it about people like Pat Robertson that ostensibly any form of physical contact between men scares them half to death, so much so they have the desire to vomit or alternatively have a very big laundry problem?

If you’ve not seen the film, get a copy. For normal people it’s great fun. For Pat Robertson it will probably be a drag and he can vomit away to his heart’s content. Lighten up, Pat Robertson, lighten up. Life is too short for your kind of neurotic tub-thumping hellfire crap and I am sure when you are ruptured… Whoops sorry! Raptured, God will greet you in His heaven with a nice big wet kiss.