Thursday, December 24, 2009

Theodore Roosevelt said that Tolstoy was “a sexual moral pervert.” Considering the mores of the time I suppose that was quite an apt description Sofia would agree with. As a writer he may have been a genius but as a man it would appear he was a complete nincompoop.
Five Poles have been arrested for stealing the sign Arbeit Macht Frei over the gate at Auschwitz – why? The body of a Cypriot leader has been stolen – why? People are weird; there are no two ways about it.
A minister in the Uganda government wants to bring in the death penalty for homosexuality. One never ceases to be amazed. There are already laws in place there and it is possible to go to prison for up to fifteen years but, no, nothing will do but the death penalty. Homosexuality is an import from the west, totally alien to Uganda and the clerics all nod their religious heads in agreement; it is against Islam, it is against Christianity, it is against Ugandan traditions. More civilised countries and freedom groups have thrown up their hands in horror. Sweden for example has threatened to withdraw a quite substantial grant if Uganda goes ahead with this and it becomes law. When will these people ever come to their senses? The Ugandans and their like not the Swedes. Alas, I’m afraid the answer is never.
A police woman in New Zealand stopped two nude cyclists and, although their nudity constituted an offence, (they said they just wanted to know what it felt like to have total freedom and I know what they mean – for example swimming nude is a whole lot more enjoyable than having to wear a bathing costume) she told them to put on their crash helmets and go home! What a wonderful sensible girl. Three cheers. “Well it was the middle of the night and no one was around,” she said. It’s a great pity that, from all one hears, the British police have lost that touch of good old fashioned common sense.
And finally, a poncey actor by the name of Chuck Morris has lashed out against Obama’s health reforms saying, “What if mother Mary had Obamacare? As a poor adolescent she would have received help and assistance through family planning in order to stop her pregnancy. Therefore baby Jesus would not have been born … and what then would have been the fate of the world?” Well the answer to that is no worse off than it is now I suppose but where oh where do these people keep their brains? And can he really be serious? Actors of this ilk ought never to open their mouths unless they’re spouting someone else’s words. Note how Jesus is preceded by baby to tug at your heart strings … altogether now ….aaaaah!
And finally finally, going back to the cyclists, were their balls not in danger of being well and truly bruised (Ouch!) if a foot slipped on a pedal or the bike went over a horrendous bump in the road? Poor Douglas is in hospital for Christmas day and he can tell them all about the pain of damaged testicles.

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