Poor George Papandreou, I feel so sorry for him. He tried so hard for so long to make it as Prime Minister of Greece only to inherit a nest of vipers and, most likely after the bullying tactics of the Merkel and that French twit, finds he is pushed aside. The financial mess that is Europe, Britain, and America at the moment seems to be a Gordian knot that needs an Alexander to unravel it with a clean blow. Not that there is anything new about it; even cities of the ancient world did at sometime or other find themselves in financial straits. Bankruptcy is hardly a new phenomenon but the multimillion dollar rats have fled and, make no mistake about it, the wolves are at the door ready to pounce and it’s the poor wot pays the price. The horny Italian has quit too. What an upheaval it has been. He can now invite as many girls as he likes to his bunga-bunga parties as long as they’re not underage.

Continuing my reasoning as to why the world is going to hell in a hand basket (apart from the financial situation that is) two footballers in Iran have been sentenced to 74 lashes each for bringing the game into disrepute after an “immoral” goal celebration on the pitch televised live; footage which shows Mohammad Nosrati pinching Sheys Rezaei, a team mate’s, bottom. The flogging could very well rake place on the pitch where the celebrations took place after a judge said they may have violated public chastity laws. Judge Valiollah Hosseini told the state-run Fars news agency that the punishment for violating the chastity law is up to two months in prison and 74 lashes. "It is even worse that these actions took place before the eyes of thousands of spectators and TV cameras," he was quoted as saying. In another YouTube video Rezaei is shown hugging another, unidentified teammate to celebrate the side’s winning goal in the last few minutes. Apart from the flogging they have been banned from football for an indefinite period and fined the equivalent of £25000 for “immoral” acts. For pinching a bottom? For a hug? Oh, come on!

Homosexuality is outlawed in Iran and can carry the death penalty so, oh dear, the slightest hint of anything even remotely suggestive and the balloon goes up.

In 2007, Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (Mad Mahmoud) famously declared in a speech at Columbia University in New York City that there were "no gays" in Iran. So, if pinching a bottom is worth suspension, 74 lashes, and a fine of £25000 what punishment should be meted out for Mahmoud practically giving bearded Mullahs tongue sandwiches? These are no chaste kisses on the cheek, common in many non Anglo-Saxon countries, but definitely lip-smacking mouth to mouth. There are photographs available that show this disgusting “immoral” behaviour.

It’s lucky for English footballers that they don’t play in a country like Iran. In England the scoring of a goal is the signal for an immediate flurry of activity involving the whole side and practically ending up in an orgy – well an orgy of celebration anyway but definitely an uncalled for indulgence in “immoral” behaviour. What would Stanley Matthews have said at the behaviour on the pitch of today’s footballers?