Friday, July 2, 2010

I’ve just read the screenplay I wrote many many years ago based on Greville Wynne’s book ‘The Man From Moscow’. This was a commission for the magnificent sum of £200 which Wynne was reluctant to pay and had to be threatened before he finally stumped up. The reason for the reluctance was because he said he showed the script to his accountant who couldn’t understand it to which my reply was if his accountant showed me a set of figures I more than likely wouldn’t understand them. The commission in fact was for a treatment, not a full script, but I liked the story so much I felt I wanted to give it the works so went ahead and did it. So what was it about the script his accountant couldn’t understand? There can’t be many film scripts that are easy for the layman to read and rereading this one I realise just how complicated it is. Unless you have a keen visual imagination and you can see it all happening before your very eyes as Arthur Askey used to say it probably would look a bit of a jumble. Well, in fact, I honestly believe my treatment of the book was a good forty years or more before it’s time: 190 pages and in two parts it consists of 461 set-ups; obviously too much for our accountant to digest and it requires the modern method of quick intercutting between scenes moving from reality to imagination, past, present and possible future. Ah well, never mind, it’s not the only body of work that will never see the light of day. The Soviet Union is old hat now anyway. Still it was an interesting read and remains in the archives.
A woman has been remanded in custody accused of breaching an Asbo banning her from being noisy during sex. Neighbours complained of hearing Caroline Cartwright, 48, groaning and her bed banging against the wall at her home in Washington, Wearside. Earlier this month she was given a four-year Asbo banning her from making excessive noise anywhere in England. But she appeared in court on Monday, charged with three breaches of her Asbo in just 10 days. She was remanded in custody until 5 May. Cartwright was convicted of five breaches of a noise abatement notice on 17 April and fined £515. But Houghton le Spring Magistrates' Court heard police arrested her on 18 April, on 22 April and again on 26 April, after reports from neighbours she was flouting the ban with her husband Steve. Prosecutor Claire Ward said neighbours complained to police about early morning noises including shouting and groaning coming from the Cartwrights' home in Hall Road, Concord, Washington. Cartwright elected to be tried by jury and the case will be transferred to Newcastle Crown Court at a later date.
You can’t even enjoy your sex in England anymore. The prison population has risen to 85201 which is remarkably small when you consider the size of the population on that overcrowded island. Maybe this good lady will make it 85202. I hope not.

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